There is much wisdom to be found in Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation “Amoris Laetitia” (“The Joy of Love”), but at over 200 pages long it’s not always easy to pick out the wise words from all the prose. This project sifts through the wisdom Pope Francis has provided for us in this document. Each part of this project contains quotes (in italic font) from Amoris Laetitia that I believe contain wise words. Each quote is accompanied by a few of my own words (in normal font) to shed light on that wisdom.
I encourage everyone to read Amoris Laetitia for themselves. You can download a free copy from the Vatican website. For those that haven’t read it, this list of quotes can serve as an index to skip to just the most important parts of the document. For those that have already read it, my commentary accompanying each quote can supplement or reinforce what you read before.
Headings indicate the main section or chapter in Amoris Laetitia that a list of quotes comes from. Quotes are numbered according to the paragraph they come from in Amoris Laetitia. If multiple quotes come from the same paragraph, I add a dash and a number for clarification (e.g. 5-1, 5-2). Some paragraphs are skipped because they summarize other parts of the document or feature more common knowledge most people will already know.
Chapter 2: The Experiences and Challenges of Families (continued)
39 “We treat affective relationships the way we treat material objects and the environment: everything is disposable; everyone uses and throws away, takes and breaks, exploits and squeezes to the last drop. Then, goodbye.”
These words pretty much stand on their own. I can only add that loving relationships are give and take. Relationships based on what each person gets out of the other do not last.
40-1 “At the risk of oversimplifying, we might say that we live in a culture which pressures young people not to start a family, because they lack possibilities for the future. Yet this same culture presents others with so many options that they too are dissuaded from starting a family.”
These are two separate problems. When money is the problem, there is no option to marry. When the finances are okay, another problem emerges: too many potential marriage partners. As far as money, two obstacles to successful marriages and families are the high price of housing and lack of quality employment (see 44-1 and 44-2 below). Many young people choose to remain single because they can barely support themselves let alone a family with children.
As far as too many options, dating websites and apps have become so advanced, a person can be meeting a new person every day of the week. Knowing they can only make a lifetime commitment to one person, there is a great fear they will choose a person today only to find a better person tomorrow. They can get into a yearslong cycle of dating and never take the next step to marry.
40-2 “We need to find the right language, arguments and forms of witness that can help us reach the hearts of young people, appealing to their capacity for generosity, commitment, love and even heroism, and in this way inviting them to take up the challenge of marriage with enthusiasm and courage.”
This statement simply elaborates on 2-1 in Part 1.
41 “Marital problems are ‘often confronted in haste and without the courage to have patience and reflect, to make sacrifices and to forgive one another.'”
See my commentary for 38-1 in Part 3.
43 “The Synod Fathers noted that “one symptom of the great poverty of contemporary culture is loneliness, arising from the absence of God in a person’s life and the fragility of relationships.”
No matter what the problems are, they usually go back to a lack of religion. When people are not religious, it is hard to live a life of selflessness and love towards others. Religion provides the primary incentive to do good throughout every moment of life, not just when the person feels like it. The more selfish people there are, the more suffering people don’t get the help they need. Then some of those people become selfish themselves, leading to more selfishness in the community as a whole. It just spreads through culture until large portions of the population never think to help others and even make fun of the misfortune of others.
This is evident simply walking down the street. No one talks to each other. They keep their head down, eyes on their phone, not saying a single word to each other. There’s very little sense of community. Despite the streets being full of people, everyone is a stranger, all focused on their own individual goals. There’s a phrase relating to this: “living alone together”. People have a lot of others around them, but each is doing their own thing. It’s no wonder people are lonely. If everyone lived a life of sacrifice for others, there would be no loneliness. We can each do our part, but the ideal of no loneliness is something that we will mostly have to wait for heaven to see.
44-1 “The lack of dignified or affordable housing often leads to the postponement of formal relationships.”
There is a worry about the reduction in the number of marriages these days compared to the past. One of the causes is the high cost of housing. Housing has always been a big obstacle to marriage and the family, but it’s much worse these days. In most parts of the country, the couple has to at least make the median income to afford a house. In other words, 30-40% of the population cannot afford a house. The number is even higher for young people. In many places, even apartment rents are too high. They either have to live with roommates or parents. Marriage is usually not an option in that situation.
The problem is clear, but the solution is not. This is where the government and academic community can help. They should study what’s causing high housing prices and what’s keeping wages low relative to those prices. Only then can solutions be proposed. Are investment companies overcharging for housing? Then maybe price caps have to be temporarily implemented. Are businesses artificially keeping wages low for extra profit? Then maybe the minimum wage has to be temporarily increased. The causes are likely more complex than this, but something must be done or else population decline and an endless cycle of economic hardship will break the country apart.
44-2 “Workdays are long and oftentimes made more burdensome by extended periods away from home. This situation does not help family members to gather together or parents to be with their children in such a way as to nurture their relationships each day.”
Even when a family can afford housing, it usually requires both parents to be working, many times for long hours. This forces them to put their children in daycare, another huge cost for the family to bear. Furthermore, the parents aren’t getting to spend much time with their children. When they get home from work, they are so tired, they can barely keep up with the basic chores let alone be an active presence in their children’s lives.
45 “A great number of children are born outside of wedlock, many of whom subsequently grow up with just one of their parents or in a blended or reconstituted family”
The big problem in America is unstable families. The economy plays a part — life is always more secure when families can pay their bills comfortably — but the bigger problem is when parents are not dedicated to their children. For too many parents children are an accident that they only begrudgingly raise. I see this especially with new fathers, who do nothing but complain about their children. If the parents don’t care, the children will probably not do well.
Studies have shown that children have the best chance of success when they have both a mother and a father to learn from. Cohabitation many times leads to single parents, at least one parent has no commitment to the children. Same-sex couples can only provide two mothers or two fathers. Both the popular lifestyle (cohabitation) and another lifestyle with popular support (gay marriage) lead to unstable families and children that aren’t well-rounded.
This isn’t to say that children raised by cohabitating or gay couples cannot turn out well, but it’s much harder. It’s clear that most times children will do better when raised in a stable household with a mother and father, so there should never be any consideration for raising children outside that situation. Accidents can happen and couples have to do the best they can, but society should never encourage behavior that potentially harms children in the long run. Cohabitation and gay marriage both carry this potential.
46-1 “In accompanying migrants, the Church needs a specific pastoral programme addressed not only to families that migrate but also to those family members who remain behind.”
This is a much bigger problem for Europe than the United States, but it still would be a good exercise to think about how we would address this if it became a large problem here. When people move to a new place, they have the basic needs of food, water, clothing, and shelter, but the critical element is integration into the community. Many terrorists have become radicalized because they never adopted the culture of their new country. Instead, radical groups create that sense of community by actively seeking out lonely or isolated people and slowly swaying them towards evil.
As an example, here is one way to integrate Syrian refugees. The Church (along with government and charities) could foster connections between Syrians that migrated years ago and Syrians that just migrated a week ago. Veteran migrants have lots of experience in the new place that would really help the new migrants. In addition they speak the same language and might even have the same religion. Once the new migrants have integrated with fellow immigrants in the new country, the Church can aid them with integration into the wider community of the nation, perhaps by connecting the new family to Catholic families that could introduce them to the wider culture (e.g. sports, barbeques, and holidays).
46-2 “The persecution of Christians and ethnic and religious minorities in many parts of the world, especially in the Middle East, are a great trial not only for the Church but also the entire international community.”
There has and always will be persecution against Christians, but it seems to have worsened in recent years. In the Middle East, religious extremists are fighting Christianity. In the West, atheist extremists are fighting Christianity. Things are not nearly as bad here than the Middle East, but the trend is still negative. We are going in the direction of greater persecution, where Catholics and the Church are under more and more restrictions. There are entire organizations devoted to eradicating every last vestige of Christianity from our culture. If this continues long enough, the Catholic Church will be forced to go underground like during Roman times. We will have regressed 2000 years. No doubt the Enemy rejoices at the thought. We may not be able to stop this from happening, but we have to continuing resisting the hostility with peace, hope, and most of all, love.
Read the other parts:
- Part 1: Paragraphs 1-12
- Part 2: Paragraphs 13-25
- Part 3: Paragraphs 27-38
- Part 4: Paragraphs 39-46
- Part 5: Paragraphs 47-57
May the Lord guide you on your faith journey,